excerpt from a letter to Keena (with a little bit added after the fact):

. . . . This whole love-business can be so challenging. I've been thinking that people seem to learn most of what they know about love from popular music, and I've come to the shaky conclusion that popular music is not a very reliable source. =) I mean, when we encounter the kind of craziness and turmoil and strife that I think you and I have encountered in our primary relationships, for me, at least, there seems to be an element of question: Have we blown it? Have we damaged the core of the relationship beyond all hope of repair? If it was really love or if it was really the right situation for us, wouldn't it be less crazy and less seemingly impossibly hard? Isn't love supposed to be easier than this? And then, having those questions, it can be really hard to decide whether to try to work through it or to throw our hands up and call it quits. The tentative conclusion I've come to is that the love songs are way over-simplistic and should come with warning labels or something and should be kept locked up until interested parties are mature enough to understand that *it's not real.* *that's not how it actually is. * *in reality, love is a delicious, sweet, complicated, confusing, sticky, euphoric, ecstatic, suicide-inducing, garbled mess of whoknowswhat.* it's not the same three chords played over and over again. nothing like it. Anyway, I'm glad that we're both finally finding some peace, a respite from all the turmoil. I love you love you love you . . . .

~A