I know it's a long shot, but I figured I'd put it out there:

If you’re a personal life coach looking to do some pro bono work, I would be a fantastical candidate. Really I would. When I’m at my best, I’m terrifically warm, friendly, enthusiastic, charming, dynamic, audacious, wild, and sweet. I'm a pretty decent cook, throw a fun dinner party, love to dance, to juggle, to read, to play games, to wrestle, study martial arts, to turn cartwheels, bounce babies, participate in mentally engaging conversations, perform poetry, have fanciful kinds of sex, stay up all night, sleep all morning, and dream vivid delightful imaginings. And write. When I'm at my best I love to write. I do it all the time.

When I'm not at my best, I'm depressed a lot, under-motivated to make anything happen, anti-social, shy, and sexually blocked. I surf the net and find non-strenuous ways to entertain myself. I don't return phone calls or emails. I'm not so very creative or playful. I neither write, nor perform. I don't occupy my body. I don't smile so very much. My face takes on a dull, flat look. I jump away from people's touch.

I'm not very assertive, in either case, and would like to be more so. And more proactive about accomplishing things, about figuring out where I'm going and how to get there. I could use some help developing more disciplined practices (when it comes to creative endeavors and exercise, especially).

I'm sure I would be at my best lots and lots and lots for someone who wanted to provide me with some life-coach services. And if you wanted to set up some kind of a trade, I'd be really, really open.

I can provide references who will answer whatever questions you have about me.

Send me an email. REALLY. This is a serious request. So do please, if you're out there, oh-fairy-godmother-personal-coach, send me an email at: arianainlove@graffiti.net.

You would change my life forever.