I was watching this show on The Learning Channel with the woman we're visiting here in Vermont with the six month old baby, and it's all about following women who are pregnant and interviewing them about their pregnancy and how they plan to give birth and then showing them giving birth (not so you can see the explicit parts, but still). And it's very interesting on one level--birth is interesting stuff and the diverse way folks give birth is interesting stuff. Some do it at home in a tub of water, some do it in a hospital with epidurals, some do it with the assistance of hypnotherapy, etc. That's really fascinating to me. But on another level, it's kind of weird and feels really unconscious. Most of these people giving birth are in these very heterosexual, married, middle-american, middle-class situations with like 3 or 4 or 5 kids. And it's just like, whoa, hold on there. There are plenty of kids in the world that need loving, nurturing homes, and while I understand the desire to go through the experience of childbirth (which I feel myself), it seems inconsionable and completely irresponsible to just go spewing more and more people out into the world. After one or two (or none), adopt, for goodness sake, if the maternal/paternal instinct is so very strong in you. And at the same time, I do kind of wish it was the more progressive, conscious people multiplying in great numbers instead of the conservative, traditional, unconscious ones cloning themselves all over the place. And of course, it's totally paradoxical. It would require consciousness on the part of the unconscious or unconsciousness on the part of the conscious for any of this to happen. In terms of the question of egg-donation, I do feel that on the one hand I understand the desire to bear a child, that being one of the most profound experiences (if not *the* most profound experience) that one could ever have. Given that understanding, I also feel like it presents a marvelous natural opportunity for people to adopt. Now, I think that everyone should adopt, if they can, really. I don't mean to saddle people who have some kind of physical difficulty whereby their eggs are not viable to be kept from having the same opportunity to experience the wonder which is childbearing for themselves, and instead be the ones who are expected to take up the sole responsibility for raising these children that other people who have been fortunate enough to have all reproductive parts functioning up to code, seem to take no great responsibility towards. Not at all. I do think that given the situation where there are people unable to bear children and children unable to be raised by the individuals that bore them, there can be a connection here, one of a compatibility of needs. Parentless children need people to love them and look after them and childless people with lots of love may need children to love and look after. Anyway, that's part of it, too, I guess--one of the many reasons why I don't feel comfortable donating my eggs, despite the 5-25 thousand dollars it might net an individual so inclined.

Now don't any of you think I'm prostheletizing here--don't you all go out and not donate eggs on my account. It could be that I've worked out some of this philosophy a little short-sightedly, but at present, that's what I believe. My mind is open, however, and I invite discussion or debate. I'm open to changing my perspective on the whole thing, though it's unlikely you'll convince me to actually donate my own specific personal eggs, though. You should know that at the start.